So, the old web server is acting slow and I don't know why. Solution? Move to a new webserver, and upgrade to the latest OS along the way. It needs to be upgraded anyway, right?!
That's what I just did and here are the most valuable command line arguments for doing so:
mysqldump -u root -pPassword --all-databases > alldata.sql
tar -pxvzf www.tar.gz
mysql -u root -pPassword < alldata.sql[/RAW]<!--formatted-->
Of course, those commands are not all that I needed to do, but they are the ones that I will want in the future when I move to another web server. So, I guess you could say they're more like a personal note on how to transfer a directory without losing permissions and how to move an entire MySQL install.